tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
