I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
