WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
