i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
