My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
As shirtless as possible
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
