I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
