I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
