Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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