I bet he comes in French.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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