Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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