Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
