Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
