I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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