I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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