he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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