Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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