dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if i can run in heels then i can drive
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
