butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
