she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
