I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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