Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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