fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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