I bet he comes in French.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
