Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
