meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Randomize
