It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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