I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
