I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
