hell yes lets make some ravioli
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
