Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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