Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
