Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
