so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
