some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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