Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
