Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
