"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
