At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
