she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Boobs speak an international language.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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