Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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