Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
