just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
