it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
