I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
