Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
