it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
