i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
