I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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