I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
