i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
